


addiction

by peter_parkerson



Series: Febuwhump 2019 [23]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Febuwhump 2019, Gen, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Whump, my body's been yelling at me to go to sleep since like 4pm so this is it folks, yall i haven't posted anything under 1k since my SPN days back in like 2016 lmao but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 18:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17903126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peter_parkerson/pseuds/peter_parkerson
Summary: Febuwhump Day 23: addictionThree months into his recovery, Peter relapses.His therapist is always telling him that what he's dealing with is a disorder. An addiction. The not eating, the purging, the obsession with those stupid blinking numbers on the bathroom scale he's not allowed to have in the apartment anymore, it's an addiction. His brain has grown so attached to all of those bad habits, and it doesn't want to let them go.For the longest time, he refused to acknowledge the problem. Told himself it wasn't a problem at all, even had the people around him convinced that everything was fine.Well, not really. But he had them convinced that he was handling it, and that was almost the same thing.Peter is just starting to think it actually isn’t a problem anymore, and then he relapses.





	addiction

**Author's Note:**

> day 23 of febuwhump (can be found here https://spidersonangst.tumblr.com/post/181695744243/hey-guys-since-i-love-sleeplessly-reading-about)

Three months into his recovery, Peter relapses.

 

His therapist is always telling him that what he's dealing with is a disorder. An addiction. The not eating, the purging, the obsession with those stupid blinking numbers on the bathroom scale he's not allowed to have in the apartment anymore, it's an addiction. His brain has grown so attached to all of those bad habits, and it doesn't want to let them go.

 

For the longest time, he refused to acknowledge the problem. Told himself it wasn't a problem at all, even had the people around him convinced that everything was fine. 

 

Well, not really. But he had them convinced that he was handling it, and that was almost the same thing.

 

Peter is just starting to think it actually isn’t a problem anymore, and then he relapses.

 

He's not sure what happened. He just knows that one day he's fine and then the next day he's staring at his food like it's out to get him again. 

 

Addiction is like that, he supposes. It lays in wait until you think it's gone away, then comes back stronger as soon as you've let your guard down.

 

Peter falls back into old habits way too easily, going right back to hiding as much of his breakfast as he can get away with in his backpack and picking at his lunch in that way that makes people think you're eating when you're definitely not. He still eats dinner with May, and occasionally with Tony, but that's about it. He lies to everyone around him, even his therapist. The only differences are that he can't focus on the numbers this time and that he's infinitely more careful.

 

Still, this time, it's only two weeks before someone calls him out. 

 

This time, that someone is himself.

 

He doesn't plan to. His relapse has gone at least mostly unnoticed over these two weeks, and he's content to leave it that way. Until he's standing in front of the mirror in one of the many bathrooms in Stark Tower, tracing his fingertips over his just barely protruding ribs, and suddenly all he can think about is how horrible things got last time and how much he does not want to go through that again.

 

He's supposed to be going to bed - he has a custom-decorated bedroom in Stark Tower, now, because Tony is like that - but instead he goes to Tony's room. 

 

Tony and Pepper are both sitting up in bed, Pepper with a book in her hands and Tony with a tablet in his, and their eyes immediately jump to Peter when he walks in. They take one look at him and wordlessly scoot apart to make room for Peter to crawl onto the middle of the bed between them.

 

Tony's fingers find their place in his hair, while Pepper rubs gentle circles on his back. Neither of them push, instead pretending to go back to whatever they were doing before Peter came in, even though Peter can feel their gazes on him all the while.

 

He likes this. The quiet comfort. 

 

He hates the fact that he needs it, especially for the reason he does. 

 

"Mr. Stark," Peter murmurs, muffled in the pillow he's buried his face in. The fingers in his hair still. "You told me to tell you if I needed help, yeah?"

 

Tony places the tablet on his nightstand, his now free hand finding Peter's. "I did."

 

Peter raises his head to look at Tony. In quite possibly the smallest voice Peter has ever heard from himself, he says, "Help."

 

Tony and Pepper hold him as he cries himself to sleep, and in the morning Tony calls Peter's therapist while Pepper calls Aunt May and they figure it out.

 

His addiction never really goes away, but he always has people to lean on. And the voices of those people are louder than the voice in his head. 

**Author's Note:**

> all of these fics are written in literally a day (weird flex but ok) so like. go easy on me i'm tired
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](https://peter-parkerson.tumblr.com/)


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